I guess the best place to start is telling you about me. I am a mom in her mid thirties. In reality I am much closer to 40 than I want to admit, but I have a few years till I hit that milestone. I have been married to my amazing husband for just over 11 years. I have two boys who are 16 months apart. They are in the best elementary school ever.
In general I live a happy, fulfilled life. I love my family. My job is a pretty decent job. Like most jobs, you have really good days and some bad ones thrown in there. I am very happy where we live in the south. I think I was meant to live the southern lifestyle. We are not country by any means, but definitely southern. After several years of searching we have found a church where we fit in nicely and are beginning to get to know more and more people. A place to be real and worship God in a real and personal way. For the first time we are in a church where we are told every week that they want to know the good and bad. We feel as though they are genuine when they say they want you to be real. We have friends that care about us. Our boys are amazing and in spite of their parents, are very good children.
In my 30 plus years, there have been ups and downs. As I think about it more and more, the ups and downs are probably an equal amount. In the middle of a down time though, the downs seem much more prevalent. Not unlike the majority of people in our lives, in our short 11 years of marriage, we have been through some very traumatic events. We have both lost parents and loved ones. My husband was laid off from a job he had taken 18 months before. We had moved across the country for this position, had our first baby away from all our family and friends and were 4 weeks away from having our second baby. We had to move back home as we lived in housing provided by his employer and had no job from June till October with two babies under two. We have moved 9 times in 11 years. We’ve lost friends and family. We’ve had two babies and lost two babies. We’ve dealt with many trying times. In the end the only constant has been God. He has never changed, never failed to provided, always protected and cared for us abundantly.
I am a complicated person. My thoughts, no matter how I try to voice them, come out jumbled. I can’t always express how I feel, no matter how hard I try. Often times I think this is because I don’t know why I feel the way I do. See in my mind, my thoughts and feelings have to be justified. I don’t have this standard for anyone else in my life, only myself.