Babies

You see, I am one of those women who adored being pregnant. I am not a small girl so getting a big huge belly was a little freeing for me. For once I wasn’t trying to cover it up.:)  I loved everything about being pregnant except throwing up.

As a little girl I dreamed of having a house full a children. Getting married when I was 25 and he was 30 altered that dream a little. In my mind it wouldn’t alter it that much. Before we were married it had been a running joke, I had a plan (of course I did, that’s what I do) and he said as long as we had an even number of kids in the end he didn’t care.

Given multiple reason, such as we had always been in a long distance relationship our the entire time we were dating and engaged we decided that I would go on birth control for a little bit. We were both completely ok with that choice. I started it and had some trouble and changed brands. My cycle stopped completely. Being newly married and being in the same place for the first time, not to mention we saved ourselves for marriage, this was a dream come true. Right?!?!?! How could it not be. Knowing that my cycles had stopped the next two doctors recommended that I start the Depo shot. The of course sold me on the perks. At that point I was convinced. Of course this was 11 years ago and I didn’t research things like I do now with the Internet at my finger tips. Both doctors assured me within three months of going off the shot everything would be normal again.

Fast forward 3 plus years, six rounds of Clomid,multiple tests, hundred of ovulation a strips, more pregnancy tests than I can count and lots of doctors bills later I saw 2 lines that morning. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Wednesday, May 15. The world couldn’t get much better than that.

It was a relatively easy pregnancy. The normal exhausted feeling, a little morning sickness but not much. High blood pressure and a mild case of gestational diabetes. Nothing too severe to worry about.

I was induced a week early because of my blood pressure and his “massive size.” After 28 hours of labor with pitocin, I ended up with a C-section as my precious baby had wrapped his cord around his legs. I will never forget the first cry of my most prized treasure. I sobbed along with him. It was euphoric.

he was the best baby ever. He convinced me I was the most amazing first time mom. Everything was amazing. I was told to wait at least a year before I thought about getting pregnant again. This wasn’t in my radar at all.

8 months later I started having “issues” again. Had a visit with my ob/gyn he said he assumed that by body had reset after giving birth the first time but was now going back to the way it was before my pregnancy. He said the chance of me getting pregnant without medical intervention were practically impossible.

I was fine with that. We had our precious baby and no matter what happened next it was ok. If we had more or didn’t have more that was ok? Because of our previous experience and our doctors thoughts on getting pregnant again we were not preventing it.

A few weeks later I felt so tired. Oddly tired. I even remember saying I felt like this just before giving birth. Fast forward a week, I bent over to pick something up and threw up. Out of no where. I knew immediately. 5 tests later it was confirmed. With an 8 month old  was pregnant again. 6 even 8 weeks along.

I was overwhelmed. No words, just overwhelmed. This time it was different. Not only was I sick as a dog almost every day, I Had a baby to care for. It was hard.

There were some major life drama (a story for another time) during this pregnancy but I still loved it. Loved feeling the baby, watching the baby move and play with his brother on the outside. It was wonderful. My second was born 16 months, 2 weeks and 1 day after my first. I wouldn’t change it for the world. There were days that I was sure one of us wasn’t going to make it out alive. There are still times I feel like that. But again, I wouldn’t change it.

it wasn’t my plan, but it was His plan. Given the recent circumstance in our lives at that time I am 100% convinced God gave us baby number 2 when he did, not only as a miracle, but force  us to get out of bed every day when it was hard to do it. These two babies depended on us for everything. God always knows His plan. Sometime my plan doesn’t match His, but His plan is always better.

For next time, baby number two will be 6 in just a few weeks. There have been many ups and downs and bumps and bruises since baby number 2.

 

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