Yesterday was one of those days. In reality it has been one of those two-week periods. It has been rough. In short, we are home bodies. For home bodies, being out every night for several weeks is exhausting. Absolute physical and mental exhaustion.
When we got married, the only piece of advise my Dad gave my soon to be husband was to let me get my rest. He would have a much happier life if I got my sleep. No doubt about it, I will be the first to admit that I get grouchy when I don’t get rest. It isn’t pretty.
After working all week and weekend plus working this week and Saturday (not a normal thing for me), I am exhausted. Lif go s on the you are working. Money is tight, tempers are short and I am just plumb tired. Monday seemed like the day for everyone at work to yell at me about things that had nothing to do with me. Then the lovely student who called me names and threaten to come back and tell on me if I didn’t do my job just finished the day perfectly. I said that last sentence with complete sarcasm in case you were wondering. I work in Higher Ed and hate when adults act like children.
Then after a long day, time for a baseball game. All little league teams have “that” dad. The one who thinks his child will be drafted next week. The one who constantly screams but never (okay maybe a few times) praises. Hello this is a 5/6 team. Praise goes so much farther than yelling. I often have to remind myself that we all have different parenting approaches. Someone might not agree with the way I parent. Monday I actually had to walk away from the game, I was so angry at the display I saw. No children were hurt, however egos and feelings were probably crushed.
Yesterday was just a day. I was in a mood so I stayed out of everyone’s way. Then I came home to “I need money for this” and “I need $5 for this” and we have three more activities to add to our already packed schedule. 13 events in the next 10 days. Not to mention work, school, sleep and meals. I was quickly overwhelmed. Where am I going to get the time, money and energy for the next 10 days.
I shut down. I stopped talking and stared at the tablet the rest of the evening. After 1,000,000,000 questions of “are you ok” from my husband, I decided I would head to bed. I should happy he cares enough to ask, but I didn’t want to process information. I had met my limit.
I crawled into bed, got comfy, and with my final breath before sleeping let a tear run down my check and said “God help me right now, this is all I can handle.”
I woke refreshed is morning. My headache that I have had for 10 days is practically gone. Someone thanked me for doing something I didn’t even realize I did. Today hasn’t been too overwhelming. Then as I scrolled through Facebook and saw this from Jesus Calling:
“Sometimes you need to rest in the shadows. If you continue pushing yourself—ignoring how weary you are—you may collapse altogether. Many of My followers drive themselves to the point of exhaustion or utter discouragement, while pretending everything is all right. Your enemy the devil rejoices—even gloats—when he sees this happening. He understands the power of pretense to weaken My children till they are easy prey for him. Do not panic when you have fallen, for you will rise again. Be content to sit in darkness while I refresh your spirit, mind, and body.” -Jesus Lives by Sarah Young, p. 242
“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness the Lord will be my light.” -Micah 7:8
This is exactly what I needed. I can only do this life He has given me in His strength, not mine.