The anxiety creeps back

Last week I took a week off.  My first week off since November.  We didn’t travel anywhere because my baby graduated from Kindergarten and we still had baseball.  But it was wonderful.  It was a great time of relaxation and fun with my family.

Not having to juggle work, home, baseball, school for the boys and just surviving, my anxiety was very easy to manage.  But I also found that when my anxiety isn’t constant, the moments of stress hit hard and fast.  They were few and far between and I felt great, physically and mentally.

My baby turned 6 on Saturday and graduated Kindergarten on Wednesday.  I don’t know how this happened.  My oldest grew 2.5 inches since Christmas.  How in the world are they getting so big so fast?

I came back to work this week and hit the ground running.  Two large events this week after being off a week and in my head I had two days to prepare and I only had one day to prepare.  That threw me off my game.  Yesterdays event was very stressful.  My baby hasn’t been feeling great and is now having allergic reactions and we can’t figure out why.  Baseball practices at the same time for both boys on different side of the two with one car.  My oldest had a dentist appointment where they were doing major work.  This always worries me.  Then we found out the dentist that we LOVE LOVE LOVE is leaving at the end of the month.  Sadness.  Then yesterday, by husband called saying there was some type of explosion and we had no power.  They were leaving to come get me since they were closing roads and he wasn’t sure if he could get to me if they waited much longer.  With every phone call and email that arrived my day became more and more stressful and I could feel it building up inside me.  Anger, frustration, that out of control feeling and the worry.  All rumbling inside me.  Within an hour I was feeling the physical effects of the stress.

A few moments later, my husband called to tell me there was a plane crash during a routine practice flight.  They had just been outside watching the planes fly.  The plane crashed across the street from our house.  This was scary.  Later we found out the pilot did not eject from the plane in order to do his best to not crash into an apartment complex.  They believe he sacrificed his life for the lives of many others.  My family is safe and in reality weren’t in any harm.  But they were quite shaken up.

On our way home, we had to go the back way and drove by the site.  It was a wake up call. The incident happened much closer to the house than I thought.  It hit me hard that a life was taken today.  A wife/child/father/mother/sibling lost someone they loved today during a routine practice.

When we got home I visit social media as I always do.  Last night, I deleted the app from my from phone.  Pettiness.  That’s about the only way to sum it up for me.  People are debating stupid things that don’t matter.  If events should continue this weekend as planned and if the town is just looking for money or publicity.  Debates over so many “hot topics” in our lives right now that in the end don’t matter.

Even though my week has been filled with stress and anxiety, yesterday put my life into perspective.  Life is not about the things we think it is.  It’s about faith, faith in the one true God.  Love, family, friends and the things that make you happy.  I urge you all to find what makes you happy.  Focus on the happy, not the frustrating, the sad, the overwhelming, the anger.


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